Bye Bye Nursing

After 8.5 months, the chapter of nursing my son has come to an end. And if I am honest, I'm not sure how I feel about it. The time has definitely flown by second time round. My son from day one has had a good appetite, feeding every 2 hours on day 2 and some evenings cluster fed for 5 hours! Later on, I wanted to introduce the bottle and I experienced problems trying to figure out which bottle he liked. We started with the same bottle my daughter used, Avent, and tried various teat sizes, but he didnt take much at all. So at first I was unsure if it was the bottle he didnt like and I persisted but then the whole point of introducing the bottle was for some flexibility. Then I spoke to a few mommy friends who recommended Dr Browns, and my son took to it straight away using level 3 teat. He was over 5 months old when he accepted the bottle. He had previously taken to it when 2 weeks old. However, as I wasnt persistent, he soon forgot (perhaps refused?) and then I was left feeling trapped at times unable to leave him with family without a bottle. So wherever I went, he would be there with me and yes he did come to the hairdresser with me! So at 5 months, I would pump and feed him expressed milk. I only pumped once a day so then I eventually used formula. He started with small amounts of formula which didnt leave me feeling confident that I could leave him with my mom for a few hours. Slowly it increased and I believe that was down to his appetite increasing. By December last year I decided that he was heading in that direction--having more from the bottle and less from me and to work towards mid January to aim to finish nursing.

The best part about nursing was the bonding time with my son, for me it felt wonderful feeding him and seeing him grow. Also I found it so convenient, all I needed was a cover and I was happy feeding anywhere. Nursing through the night helped me go back to sleep due to the hormones in the milk, but I had broken sleep (and still have broken sleep) for many months. The downside of nursing was that the responsibility was all down to me, unless I expressed the milk-so this had to be planned and at times felt frustrating. I had to make sure I was in a comfortable place to feed, i.e. a friends house, in the nursing room in John Lewis or just to find a chair where I could park my pram, put my cover on and feed my baby. I had to always accomodate my son in what I did as I was his breakfast, lunch and dinner so wherever I went he did. So for girly dinners, shopping and pedicures my little one was by my side.

Now the downside of formula-the sterilising of bottles, the boiling and cooling of water, heating the bottle in the middle of the night and the expense of formula not to metion running to the store each time the formula runs out which in my house runs out every 3 weeks. Dont get me wrong, I love being with my son, but I also like a bit of time to myself. The upside is that I can leave him with my mom or with his dad feeling assured that he is in safe hands and not hungry!
So how does one go about dropping feeds? Now most moms I knew were giving their babies a bottle before bed time, around the 11 pm feed. I wasn't as he wasn't taking the bottle before 5 months so this was the first feed that I dropped and gave expressed milk and then later formula. This helped him feel fuller as well. After that it was every time I went out in the afternoon so the 3pm feed and soon it was every feed except the early morning feed which was mainly because I didnt want to wake up at 5 am and walk all the way to the kitchen to get the bottle ready. All this was spaced out over 6 weeks so my milk supply could adjust and that I didnt feel like I was going to explode! The last day of nursing caught me by surprise really, my son just had his bottles and didn't have anything from me, not for the early morning feed and not even for a bit of comfort. And thats it, just like that it ended. That was 8 days ago, though I still have some milk, it will take a little more time to completely dry up.

Mother and baby started off as one entity and this milestone is another step towards seperation, so yes I do feel sad that its over, but I also feel happy that we are moving on now. Time is passing by, and soon he will be all of a year and my baby will soon be a toddler. Sigh,  I just love this baby stage, though its tiring and the lack of sleep leaves you in a semi coma state. There is nothing more wonderful than nuzzling your baby and breathing in that pure baby smell... So its bye bye breast pads, ugly nursing bras and hello alcohol and a bit of me time...